JUVY 101 ~ Valleygirl Style Added 9-27-01...if you have JUVY quotes to submit, please mail me! Okay, this is the contents of JUVY 101 (at the moment) in Valleygirl, sent in by Surfergirl! It's HILARIOUS! All right, credit where credit is totally due, this page was like, you know, Surfergirl's idea. LOL Please dweeb-mail (please, like I am SO sure, we valley girls use the phone) me with your favorite JUVY quotes! Julian: "SLUUUUUUUUUUT! Like, oh my gawd! Ivy is totally a SLUUUUUUUUUT!" Julian: "Well, you know what they say - All work and no play makes Julian a mondo geekmo boy." Ivy: "What is totally this? Like, I am so sure! Anyway... Some kind of vulgar like, intercourse game?" Julian: "If it were a like, intercourse game, I'd hardly be playing it with you, my frigid, humorless wife!" Julian: "Like, duh! You called, light of my life?" Julian: "What's the matter, darling? Like, I am so sure! Like, duh! Your hairdresser leave you for another dork " Ivy: "First of all, you totally don't know how to totally have fun. Second of all, surprise surprise, you totally have no friends!" Julian: "Oh Boo Hoo! Like, oh my gawd! Poor little rich girl. Poor little SLUT! Like, oh my gawd! Got knocked up by a townie, and pretended the son was like, you know, a Crane!" Julian: "I know you totally don't love me, I totally have no delusions like, you know, about that. But like we satisfied each other in bed. We more than satisfied each other. Like, the truth is, like we used to light up the sky fer sure..." Ivy: "Like, duh! You totally don't love me, you never even tried!" Julian: "Like, duh! You never gave me a chance!" Julian: "What is totally this sudden interest in consorting with the locals? Like, I am so sure! Like, duh! You've always avoid them like the plague." Julian: "Like, duh! You've aroused my curiousity tonight Ivy. Of course you haven't aroused anything of mine in years." Julian: "I am Julian Crane and I am superior to 99.9% of the shoppers on this earth." Ivy: "Like, duh! You might want to try working out Julian and get rid of that spare tire you developed, fer sure." Julian: "I am calling from down under and I totally don't mean Australia." Julian: "I am like, fer sure there are shoppers looking out for Manuel." Julian: "Ivy, you're like, 'in trouble'?" Ivy: "How would I ever achieve that state? Like, I am so sure! Immaculate conception?" Julian: "Like, duh! You're planning on charming the mayor so he'll come up with a law banishing me from Harmony?" Ivy: " No, I already tried that and like unfortunately he couldn't get such a bitchin' law passed." Ivy: "There's an old Chinese proverb that says 'man with fake accent is totally a dork with secrets'." Julian: "There's another old Chinese proverb that says 'wife like you can go to hell'." Julian: "Like, duh! Your secret is totally keeping you up my poisonous Ivy?" Ivy: "Well well totally don't you look like the Fluffy that swallowed the canary?" Julian: "What makes you say that?" Ivy: "Feather in your teeth, it's a croaked giveaway." Julian: "Why are you spying on the locals? Like, I am so sure! Don't tell me you came to steal Grace's Tomato Soup Cake recipe." Ivy: "I'll do whatever the hell I want to do." Julian: "Uh huh, uh huh, right you do, that's one of the things that excites me after all these years. Like, duh! Your fire, your passion, scent, the feel of your skin and the ecstacy it surrenders in my arms." Ivy: "That was like, you know, over...a long time ago Julian." Julian: "I felt you respond, you miss it. I've wondered how you could go so long without a dork " Ivy: "With a dork like you....it's easy." Ivy: "If you totally don't come with me this instant, little Julian will never rise and shine again, fer sure!" Julian: "Like, duh! You toss that word around so easily." Ivy: "What word?" Julian: "Wife. Like, duh! You haven't been a wife to me in ages. Like, duh! You haven't been in my bedroom for years except to take a shot at me." Ivy: "Totally Julian, the gun was like, you know, loaded with blanks. Like, gag me with a spoon! And as I recall, you weren't alone. Like, the upstairs maid was like, you know, with you, or was like, you know, she the downstairs maid? Like, I am so sure! Whichever. Like, she was like, you know, very contientious, busy dusting under the covers, fer sure." Ivy: "Get the hell out of my bed Rebecca! Like, oh my gawd! If you want to sleep with my husband, fine. BOINK YOUR BRAINS OUT! Like, oh my gawd! But totally have the decency to do it in Julian's room. Ugh, now I'm going to totally have to totally have these sheets burned!" Ivy: "How's this for a color scheme, Rebecca? Like, I am so sure! Like, duh! You, BLACK AND BLUE ALL OVER!" Julian: "Anyway, they should totally have totally had the sense to get out before the house of shoddy workmanship caught up with them...then again, perhaps the inferno was like, you know, caused by one of Grace's Tomato Soup Cakes exploding in the oven." Julian: "Strike a nerve Chief Bennett? Like, I am so sure! Are you getting ready to dump the little lady for the sexy blonde?" Julian: "Oh, is totally that so? Like, I am so sure Like, the idea of you throwing something for me instead of at me?" Ivy: "Like, duh! You hypocritical bastard" Julian: "Like, duh! You two-timing trollop" Julian: "The Cranes totally have to wait for a table? Like, I am so sure Like, the world`s going to hell in a hand basket!" Julian: "Oh no, no, dearest one. Today I've taken care two old but rather irrating private issues." Ivy: "Thats wonderful! Like, oh my gawd! Like, duh! You've done something like, you know, about the size of your ego and the size of your.... (she looks down at points at LITTLE Julian) Hidden Passions ~ Page 170 "I love Ivy Winthrop!" he cried to the crowd on the shore. "Julian! Like, oh my gawd! Stop!" "No! Like, oh my gawd! Like, duh! You totally can't stop love, Ivy. It just happens." Julian: "Like, gag me with a spoon! And Like, duh! You, my lying slut of a wife will end up turning tricks for pocket change at the Rest Stops on the Interstate, fer sure!" Ivy: "Oh, What the Hell! Like, oh my gawd! I am going to be the sexiest widow Harmony's ever seen!" Ivy: "Like, duh! You lousy bastard! Like, oh my gawd! Like, duh! You thought I was like, you know, your slut ex-maid!" Julian: "So what if I did.. totally don't tell me you thought you were making love to me... god forbid you'd ever kiss your husband in such a passionate way!" Julian: "Come on.. the Fluffy got your hot-to-trollop tongue!" Ivy: "Don't tell me like, you know, about slumming when you totally brought that slut ex-maid to polish your knicknacks." Julian: "I think you want me baby...I think you want me grody to the max " Julian: "Like, duh! You look ravishing." Julian: "There's so much rad to be totally had together if like we could just leave the past buried." Julian: "Like, duh! You missed Ivy." Ivy: "I wouldn't waste bitchin' bullets on you Julian. Like, they were blanks." Ethan: "Calm down Father.... you're going to totally have a coronary." Ivy: (smirking) "Oh do go on Julian, fer sure." Julian: "In a room full of naked skanks I'd like know your body blindfolded." Julian: "you like got me!" Ivy: "THE BOOBY PRIZE, like groody to the max!!" Back to JUVY is Groovy