**One day Ying & I decided to sneak into Tabby's attic and look through her memoirs to see if we could find out any Juicy JUVY details of their life together. We were Shocked (but not surprised) to find out that Julian & Ivy had actually meet a few years before what was stated in Hidden Passions!

This is THEIR story.......

"We are stardust, we are golden
And we've got to get ourselves
back to the garden..."

"Julian, it's high time you started learning more about this business if you expect to run Crane Industries one day", Alister said, "and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you spend all your time running around screaming 'panty raid' at the young girl's dorm rooms at Harmony University!" Alister ranted, "Get a hold of yourself, boy! You're a Crane for God Sakes!"

Julian stared glumly at his father. "But father, I rather like the luscious young foxes at the dorm!" "Julian......" Alister glared at his son. "Yes, father. What can I do for you?" Julian relented.

"Thats more like it", Alister said, "I have a little business deal that I want you to take care of in New York. There is this prime piece of real estate that I want you to look at." Alister told him.

"Real estate?" Julian asked.

"Yes, there is this guy who owns a farm, Yasgur's Farm in New York. I want to add that to the Crane portfolio. Do you think you can handle that?" Alister asked.

"Of course father, you can count on me." Julian said.

Alister rolled his eyes "You better not blow it Julian or I'll have your head on a platter!"

Julian flew to New York the next morning. Riding in the back of the limo towards Yasgur's Farm, he noticed a swarm of young people walking along the side of highway 17B . "What the hell is going on?" Julian thought as he gulped down his brandy.

"Mr. Crane it looks like something big is going on here and we could be stuck in traffic for hours." Jim, the limo driver told him.

Julian replied back harshly, "Tell them to get out of my way! I am Julian Crane!" Julian blured out.

"Sir, I don't think that's possible" Jim told him.

"Dammit! This is costing us valuable time" Julian screeched as he took another gulp of brandy

~~~~~~~

The young kids walking along the road were singing songs, dressed in bright colorful swirls of purple, blue and orange. Julian stared at the window with a look of horror on his face. "Who the hell are these people? They look they came from an exotic zoo... or.." Julian gulped, "Oh, my god, do you think they could be escaped mental patients? Quick call the police!" Julian voice trembled.

Jim, the limo driver, laughed, "Sir, I believe they are called Hippies!" Julian was perplexed. "Hippies? What the hell are hippies? And why on God's green earth would they do that to themselves? These crazy local yokels are nuttier than a fruit basket!" Julian muttered.

Julian noticed many of the young people had their faces painted with hearts, peace signs and rainbows. Julian stared out the window, memorized by the traveling freak show.

"Mr. Crane, would it be okay if we pull over and offer some of them a ride. It could be a long walk for them?" Jim asked. Julian stared at Jim incredulously. "Do you realize who I am? I am Julian Linus Crane and I am the heir to one of the richest fortunes and if you think I'll pick up a bunch of scrawny, long-haired, rainbow faced, freaky low-lifes locals you are mistaken."

Julian dismissed the suggestion, "My god, what if they robbed me? Or worse, stole my liquor!" Julian shuttered at the thought.

The limo crawled at a snail pace. Julian pressed his face to the window and noticed a tall, long-haired bearded guy, wearing what appeared to be a Indian headpiece and a purple robe, beating on a small, hand-held drum. Julian eyes were big as saucers.

"What the hell..." Julian muttered, "This is a nightmare!" The guy looked at Julian and raised his hand, Julian dunked, convinced he had a weapon. "HELPPPPPPPPPPP", Julian wailed. Shivering in fear, Julian slowly raised in head and peered out the window..... the guy was making a peace sign with his hand. "Peace, my hiney!" Julian muttered as he rolled down the window and stuck his tongue out at the guy. "Dead beat!" Julian screamed.

A young woman who was walking with the man, glared at the uptight man in the black car. She was dressed in a rainbow colored jumpsit, with berkenstock sandles, she had a YingYang symbol on her cheek. She reached into her bag and took out a tomato and hurled it at the limo, screaming out "Down with the Capitalist Pig!" The tomato made a squishing noise as it struck Julian in the face and sled down his shirt. Julian burst into tears.

Julian cursed as he wiped off the tomato. "I want you to stop and get that young girl's name! I want to send her a bill for my dry cleaning. This silk shirt cost $400!" Julian whined. "Damn these Yahoos! They're worse than the local yokels in Harmony! Can't you speed up? I'm already late and if you have to run over these dippies or whatever the hell you call them... do it!" Julian yelled.

~~~~~~~~~~

Five, very long hours later, they arrived at a gate. Thousands of brightly colored, rainbow wearing people were milling around.

"Welcome to Woodstock ~ Where Grooviness Lives" the sign read. "What the hell is Woodstock?" Julian wondered. Julian feared he somehow turned up in OZ! "This must be a joke?! Father wants to send me around the looney bin and must have paid these people to scare the hell out of me!"

He was startled when a young woman tapped on the window. "Welcome to Woodstock! 3 days of Peace, Love & Music!"

"Huh?" Julian said.

"It's a music festival..... people from all over the country have come to share the groovy vibes and radiate love for world peace, brother."

Julian stepped out of the car, "Brother? I assure you, uhhh, miss, I am not your brother. We Crane's have a very superior gene pool and we do not mix with your kind." Julian boldly pronounced.

Julian decided to find the person in charge of this mad house and went towards the gate.

"Get your Pot brownies! Just $2 a piece", a wild haired man, his entire body covered in gold paint, yelled out. The man grabbed at Julian's arm. "Brother, do you want to trip the light fantastic? Come on, share the love!"

Julian screamed "Get your filthy hands off me, do you realize who I am? I am Julian Crane"

"Julian the Pain, welcome the grooviest party on earth!" a young girl cried out.

"Thats Julian CRANE, you bimbette!" Julain raved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julian wandered around the huge festival, weaving in and out of people dancing. "I need a drink" Julian thought. He came across a booth selling drinks.

"Girl, excuse me Girl, " Julian called out, snapping his finger impatiently.

The girl walked over to him, she towered over him. She had beads in her hair, a peace sign and unicorn painted on her cheek. She was licking a purple popsicle, while her other hand kept busy spinning a basketball on the tip of her index finger.

"I'm Jill MountainBerry, how can I help you, daddy-o?" the girl asked.

Julian raised his eyebrow and stared at the strange girl. Julian noticed she was wearing a flowing orange skirt with a purple tie-tyed shirt that had "LONG LIVE GROOVINESS" printed on the front.

"What is grooviness? An icon you all worship?" Julian asked.

Jill rolled her eyes at the square man in front of her. "How UN-groovy can this guy be?" Jill thought. "Can you dig it, man," Jill said, "grooviness is far out."

Julian suddenly had a splitting headache. "Look here, I am Julian Crane and I expect service. I want a brandy!"

Jill stared down at him, "You're looking for Brandy?" Jilll asked, "You're too late, cool daddy, she went off with Freddie SunFlower about an hour ago to go build castles in the sky."

Julian trembled with anger "I WANT BRANDY! BOOZE! Get it?"

Jill glared at the rude man, "Your bad vibes are really bringing the groovy scene down, man. Get it together, daddy, or take a hike."

Julian sighed, his patience gone, "Give me a drink...." Julian threatened.

Jill grabbed a bottle of rootbeer and placed it in his hand. "Mellow yellow man, peace and grooviness reigns."

Julian throw down a dollar and walked away. "What am I going to do with a rootbeer? I want my brandyyyyyyyy" Julian cried out.

Julian thirsty from the glaring sun, raised the rootbeer and guzzled it down. It dribbled down his chin and stained his shirt. He glared back at Jill and threw the rootbeer bottle on the ground and stalked away.

"Uhhghggghghhh" Julian muttered as the basketball came flying at him, striking him in the back of the head. He fell face first into a mud puddle. "Arrrghhh" Julian relented as he got up. He rushed back over to the booth cursing the girl, vowing to have her arrested when the festival ended. Jill winked at him and went back to selling rootbeer.

Julian walked slowly away from the booth wiping the mud from his face and shaking his head. His head ached, his shirt was filthy and he noticed his pants were torn at the knee.

"Can this day get any worse?" he muttered. Suddenly his nose got a whiff of terrible odor. "What is that god-awful smell?" Julian thought to himself. He started sniffing the air... "it smells like....." sniff sniff "like....no it can't be.. it simply can't be....not I?" Julian lifted his arm and inhaled deeply, his own body odor almost knocking him out. He was startled, he had never perspired before, he was after all a Crane! "My god, what is happening to me?" he muttered as he stumbled into two girls. The girls looked at him strangely. Julian quickly put his arm down, embarrassed. "Now see here, watch where you're going. Do you know who I am?" he said harshly.

The two girls looked at each other and shugged their shoulders "You're a plumber?" they said at the same time.

"I think not!" Julian said disgusted.

He looked closely at the two young girls in front of him. One was holding up a sign that read "REBELS UNITE" and suddenly screamed out "We rebels are here to stay! Long the the Rebels!" Julian heart started pounding, he was terrified. He quickly checked to make sure he still had his wallet. The other girl was blowing bubbles, and dancing along to the music. She had dandeloins in her hair mixed in with braids, and carried a bottle of Zinfandel. Julian eyes bulged out of their socket "BOOZE!"

His mouth started salivating. He had to get his hands on that bottle at any cost.

"So you are rebels?" he asked, "huh.. ahem..... what is your cause?"

"Our cause is simple! We are Rebels! We are for Peace, Love, Music and Wood." they both chanted.

"Wood?" Julian questioned, perplexed.

"Yeah, man, we are wood carvers, we carve desks!" the one blowing bubbles excitedly told him.

"Hmmm, strange...." Julian sighed under his breathe. "What did you say?" the other one asked.

"I asked your name?" Julian quickly said.

"Oh, you cool cat you, it's Twig!"

"Twig?" Julian asked, "as in tree branch?" Julian laughed. His eyes darting to the bottle of Zinfandel, he was strung out. Twig glared at Julian.

She thought his vibes were so un-groovy.

"Ashley, he's totally flaky, let's get away from this mad man and fast!" Twig exclaimed. They walked away quickly.

Julian suddenly got nervous. "What if there is no more booze at this god forsaken festival?" Julian muttered, looking around as he broke out in a cold sweat.

On impulse he started running towards the girls like a linebacker he had seen at a college football game, he tackled the girl with dandelions in her hair and they both fell to the ground. Julian quickly jumped up off the ground and grabbed the bottle of Zinfandel and got the hell out out there. He split and ran down the dirt road, giggling to himself. "The bottle is mine! all mine!" he chanted proudly because he just scored some ZInfandel.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere he felt a flying drop kick to his kidney! He fell to the ground hard. Twig & Ashley had him surrounded, looking down at him menancing.

Julian hunched up in a fetal position, rocking back & forth. "No! Don't rip off my booze!" he sobbed, holding the bottle tightly to his chest. Ashley karate chopped his left arm, trying to break the strangle hold he had on HER bottle of bottle of booze.

[Someone in the crowd yelled out "That girl was kung fu fighting..." as another person chimed in "Yeah, she was fast a lightning!"]

"Ouch!" Julian cried out. "HELP ME, somebody help me!" Julian sobbed, still holding on to the bottle for dear life. Twig suddenly beamed him across the head with her rebel sign. "Give it up! We have you outnumbered! Rebels forever!" Twig screamed into the air.

Julian was shaking like a leaf. Julian realized he was in serious danger of being mauled or worse killed. He shuttered at the thought. What would his father think, killed over a bottle of booze. He could see the headlines now "Groovy Hippies Killed Julian Crane!"

Julian saw Ashley waving her arms and feet getting ready for another attack........ he flinched. "I surrender" he cried out, as he held up a white (dirty) handkerchief, dangling it in the air. "Don't hurt me... please!"

Ashley grabbed the bottle from his hand, gave him a dirty look and on impulse kicked him in the stomach. "Let's get the hell out of here, Twig! These Capitalist pigs are trying to take over the world and all the booze in it." They quickly vacated the scene and disappeared into the throng of people

~~~~~~~~~~

Julian tried to compose himself. This was the worst day of his life. He felt bruised from head to toe. He started weaving himself through the crowd headed toward the gate, with his head downcast. He had to get out of this mad house. Suddenly a blonde haired girl walked up to him, she was wearing moccasins and a colorful hippie dress. She had a peace sign painted on her cheek, a red feather sticking out of her hair, and a small wooden surf board dangling from a necklace.

"Aren't you feeling the love, my brother?" she asked the man, concerned. She smiled brightly at the man, "Live for today, man, forget yesterday! Get into it!"

Julian pushed her out of the way. "Whoa, come on daddy-o? Where is your grooviness?" The girl started dancing around Julian, laughing and teasing him. "Get it together, man! Mother earth is beautiful. Live it, brother."

Julian started at the girl, shaking his head. "I don't understand you hippies. What is your purpose?"

The girl replied back, "Daddy-o, it's all about the grooviness. I think its time you tuned in and turned on. Go with the flow brother!" the girl explained as she pulled out a joint. "This is the primo from this side of New York. I am holding a special lid for you. It's Thai weed, brother. This will help you see the grooviness."

Julian started at the joint, his knees shaking. "Drugs?" Julian asked, "Crane's do not use drugs, like common folk."

"Listen man, weed is a plant, an herb. Haven't you heard? It's all groovy, baby! Come on, get down! ARe you hung up on something? Are you a chicken?" The girl started flapping her arms around, imitating a chicken.

Juilan burst out in laughter. This girl was nuts. "I assure you I am not a Chicken. I do whatever the hell I want. Lay it on me" he grabbed the joint and inhaled deeply.

Not to soon after a huge wave washed over him in his mind. He knew that he had a peak experience, Julian was getting off. He quickly inhaled more of the joint, savoring it's taste.

"This pot is, uhhhhhhhh, groovy!" Julian was startled to hear his own voice proclaim. Julian suddenly burst out in hysterical laughter at the notion of a Crane using the word GROOVY. "What will father think?" Julian thought, the thought echoing in his mind. Julian shook his head. "Whoaaa, this stuff is heavy." Julian said. Again, surprised at the new lingo he was muttering. "My god, am I turning into a hippie? A Crane Hippie, would father disinhert me?"

Julian turned to the girl who had her arms crossed. "Waaaazzz upppp?" Julian asked the girl.

"You smoked ALL my killer pot, man. How uncool!!"

Julian smiled, "Sorry, little lady, but this pot is so groovy."

The girl walked away from the man, shaking her head. She feared she created a pot monster.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Julian skipped around the festival in a daze. The bright colors, hypnotic music held him in a trance. This WAS starting to become a beautiful place, he realized. He almost smiled at the hippies dancing around him. He walked past a young girl dressed in a purple and green jumpsuit that had "ZH" printed on the front of it, she screamed out at Julian "HEY MAN, beware of the Brown Acid. Do not take the Brown Acid. That stuff is so un-groovy!" Julian nodded his head and darted away.

Julian suddenly got an overwhelming desire for something sweet to eat. He walked up to a booth with two young twin girls sitting on a colorful tie-dyed blanket. He noticed that they had cakes for sale. His stomach growled at the thought of food, he was faminished.

"How much?" he asked the girl with short hair.

"$1.00 per cake." the girl replied.

"What kind of cake is it. It looks delicious." Julian proclaimed.

"A tomato soup cake, my great-great grandmas receipe." the girl said quietly.

"Tomato soup cake? Never heard of it." Julian said, "I'll take one! No make that two!"

Grace giggled at the man standing there, it was obvious he was suffering from a severe case of the munchies. "here you go!",

Grace said, handing out the two cakes to him.

Julian grabbed the cakes and went and sat Indian style in a dirt patch. He stared down at the first cake.... "Tomato soup cake!

What a strange concoction, hmmm, but it looks so tasty" he muttered, cramming a large piece in his mouth. "This is the best cake I ever ate!" Julian proclaimed happily and he crammed in another large piece into his mouth, as crumbs dribbled down his chin. "If only I had a bottle of Zinfandel to wash this down!" Julian wished with a sigh.

In the distance, Tabitha Lennox, and her doll, Timmy, were playing 'merry-go-ground', her scarfs blowing in the breeze. Timmy was dressed in a clown suit, with stars and a sun painted on his cheek, and a bright red nose. Tabitha was surprised to see Julian Crane sitting eating a hideous looking cake.

"Well, well, Timmy, look who's here? It's the snobby Julian Crane!"

Timmy squeeked in pleasure, "Can he come and play with us?" Timmy pleaded.

"No Timmy! I have plans for the mightly Julian Crane." Tabitha giggled. Tabitha put her plan into motion.

Meanwhile, Julian inhaled the first cake in 30 seconds. He looked down at the second cake......his mouth watering. He went to put another very large piece in his mouth when a little kid in a clown suit wandered over to him.

"Hey mister, do you have any spare change?" Timmy asked with glee. "I want to buy a kite." Timmy asked, desperately.

"Huh?" Julian asked, annoyed at being interupted eating his precious tomato soup cake.

"I want a quarter!" Timmy asked.

Julian tried to shoo the kid away, "Get lost, I'm busy" Julian said rudely.

"But mister......." Timmy said.

"Listen, you little hoodlium, I don't know where you came from but get lost before I call the police! I am Julian Crane and I simply do not give handouts."

Timmy realized that his princess was right about Julian, he was a big meannie. Timmy turned to walk away and deliberately stepped on Julian's remaining Tomato Soup Cake and smashed it into the ground. "Take that!" timmy said as he ran off. Julian screamed out in anger. "MYYYYYYYY CAKE!" he sobbed. He started to run after the little clown, vowing revenge... but decided to "hell with him" and headed back to find that booth with the tomato soup cakes.

He came across the booth and found out to his utter dismay that Grace had sold the last cake to a blonde haired, strange looking lady with long scarfs blowing in the breeze, holding what appeared to be a little clown. Juilan couldn't believe it... "so that clown from hell thought he could do a fast one on ole' Julian. Haha! I'll never allow it!" Julian though as he stalked off in pursuit of the mysterious lady and her clown. He soon came across them.

He rushed right up to them, "Listen lady, you're child here destroyed my tomato soup cake and I want you to pay for it!"

Tabby laughed at the crazy man "My Timmy, why he's just a doll. He's not real."

Julian was startled. "I must be more stoned than I thought! I did think that clown was real. My god! What will father think?"

Tabitha looked deeply into Julian's eyes. "I do think you need to watch your manners young man, you shouldn't go around accusing people's dolls of destroying your property!"

Julian sulked back "Yes, you're right. I don't know what got into me, the doll is plastic. It must be the cake. The moistness, the delicious tomato flavor... I can't get enough of that cake!" Julian explained, "I see you have a cake there, would you consider selling it to me? I"ll pay top dollar. I am ofter all Julian Crane!"

Tabitha looked at Juilan, her plan was working perfectly. "In honor of this ceremony I will give you this cake. How's that?" Tabitha asked.

Juilan couldn't believe his ears, the cake was as priceless as gold, as preicious as the finest of rubies. He grabbed at the cake and darted away, pleased with himself.

[Little did Julian know what Tabitha had in store for him. You see, Tabitha, didn't just hand Julian any old tomato soup cake, this one was very special.....and very laced. Laced with the dreaded brown acid. "Oh yes, Julian was in for the surprise, of should I say TRIP of his life." Tabitha laughed with glee.]

A half n' hour later Julian was stumbling through the crowd, trippin' on the brown acid he had unwittedly munched on when he ate the tomato soup cake. He was sweating profusely and was seeing trails in his hallucinating state.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elsewhere at Woodstock, Ivy Winthrop was in the crowd near the front of the stage, dancing and enjoying the music. She had come with her sorority sisters on a lark and found to her surprise that she loved the peaceful vibes that flowed through the crowd and the kind hippies who befriended her. Pilar stood beside Ivy, sensing Ivy could get herself into trouble in such a free lovin' environment as Ivy was a free spirit.

Ivy enthused on and on about the singer Jimi Hendrix and waited with anticipation for him to start his set. The way his fingers played along that guitar sent shivers up Ivy's spine. "He is so sexy", Ivy proclaimed to Pilar, who shook her head, not amused. Rebecca was a few feet behind Pilar and Ivy, trying to make her moves on this guy who was claiming to be the fifth Beatle.

Ivy whispered to Pilar over the music, "I'm having the time of my life. Perhaps, I'll meet my future husband here! Maybe he'll fall right into my lap." Ivy giggled. Pilar rolled her eyes and muttered "Dios Mio, leave it to Ivy to want to meet her husband at an event like this."

~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Julian had stumbled backstage and was hallucinating that flying saucers had landed at the festival and were trying to get a hold of his DNA sample, so they could make a superior race of aliens. He dodged under a table, cowering in the shadows. He was petrified. After two hours of shivering under the table, he finally passed out.

He awoke several hours later to the sound of a woman singing a bluesy tune, her voice captivated him.

"See here, who are you? Are you the mother alien?" Julian asked as he quickly got up from beneath the table. Both his eyes were bloodshot and the right eye twitched uncontrollably. He struggled to stand upright.

Julian peered at the woman with a boa in her hair, and a velvet purple outfit. His eyes quickly darted to the bottle of Southern Comfort that she held in her hand. "My kind of woman!" Julian proclaimed.

The woman introduced herself, "Big Daddy, my name is Janis. Do you like to rock 'n roll?" Julian, still eyeing the bottle of booze, stepped over to Janis and gave her his best Crane smile.

He sat on the couch, putting his arm around her. "Daddy, are you trying to snuggle up to me to get my booze? Mama don't play that." Janis told him. Julian laughed.

"Well, see here, are you into that umm free love adventure? If so, can I apply?" Janis laughed, handing him the bottle. Julian guzzled the harsh liquor down. Quickly, he finished the entire bottle and handed it back to Janis. He belched loudly. Janis was impressed, this man could hold his liquor.

She asked Julian if he would like to play dress-up, her favorite game. Julian shook his head and said "That would be uhhh, groovy!"

Julian stood up, a little unsteady on his feet. Janis picked out a yellow shirt and a fringed vest with flowers printed on it. It had "flower power" printed on the front. Julian started putting on the outfit, feeling himself become "more groovy" with each passing moment. Janis handed Julian some bell bottoms jeans, sunglasses and tied a headband around his forehead. Julian looked in the mirror and thought he was the grooviest hippie he had ever seen.

Julian stood backstage and looked out into the vast crowd. His acid and boozed soaked brain began playing tricks with him. He suddenly believed he was a Rockstar sent from the planet ZooLex and that these half a million people have come to see him, Julian Henderix, the greatest guitarist this galaxy has ever known. He heard them chanting "WE WANT JULIAN HENDRIX! WE WANT JULIAN HENDRIX!" Julian quickly calculated that if half the audience were of the female persusion, that would mean that 250,00 women were screaming for him----Julian Hendrix, the Rock God of Grooviness.

Julian smirked. "I'll give those ladies a show they'll never forget."

He started towards the stage and ran into a man who he thought must be a vodoo priest, he was wearing a purple velvet suit, with a hat and long feather and carrying a guitar. He had multiple necklaces around his neck and a bandana around his forehead. Julian could hear the crowd getting louder "WE WANT JULIAN HENDRIX!" Julian made his move, he tripped the strangely dressed man as he walked, grabbed his guitar and ran out on stage.

The crowd was suddenly silent. Who was this guy?

Julian strung the guitar around his waist and rocked his hips back and forth. His fingers screeched across the guitar strings, sending out a horrible whinny pitch sound into the audience. "This guy stinks" said a wild haired hippie at the front of the stage. Julian closed his eyes and kept playing, in his mind, the crowd roared their approval. Julian lapped it up. "I'm the King!" Julian proclaimed, slinging his way across the stage. Meanwhile, the crowd had started throwing rocks, tomatoes and watermelon at the stage trying to get him off the stage. They had never heard such a horrible screech in their lives.

Ivy and Pilar, looked at the guy on stage in disbelief. "This is the Hendrix guy you find so appealing?" Pilar quizzed Ivy. Ivy looked at Pilar and raised her eyebrow, "Heavens no. I don't know who that loser is, but that is not Jimi Hendrix." Ivy plugged her ears with her fingers, fearing she would go deaf from the awful racket the man on stage was making.

Julian, meanwhile, was on stage, oblivious to the commotion around him. He screamed out "I am Julian Hendrix.....and I am GROOVY!" Julian looked out into the crowd and noticed objects flying towards him, he grinned from ear to ear, imagining the hippie women in the audience throwing their panties at him. Julian kept on strumming the guitar while the crowd booed and hissed.

Julian shook his hips from side to side, hoping to ignite the girls in the audience into a state of pure frenzy. At this moment, Julian looked down and noticed a small dog running around the stage. He could hear Jerry Garcia calling out for the mutt

"FIFI, Come here FIFI."

Fifi, looking to relieve himself, lifted his back leg and peed on the electrical cord. Sparks started shooting out the instrument, as Julian tried to keep a hold of the guitar. Electrical currents pulsated through his body.... smoke started coming out of his ears. Julian's hair stood up on end in a wild looking afro. The audience roared. "ZZZZZZZZZZZ" came the noise from the guitar as it caught fire and exploded......Julian was thrown head first into the audience, landing into the very soft lap of none-other-than, Ms. Ivy Winthrop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ivy looked down at her lap in disbelief. "The poor fellow." Ivy said, "Are you okay? Wake up?" Julian was out cold. Ivy pushed him on to the dirt and knelt down beside him and checked his pulse. Ivy noticed the man had stopped breathing. She quickly started CPR, breathing life into his lungs.

From a distance haze, Julian was aware that he was indeed very much alive. He felt the warm breath engulf his mouth, he woke with a start and darted his tongue into the very sensuous mouth of his rescuer. She spat at him. "DISGUSTING!" she cried out. She quickly jumped to her feet and glared down at the man lying in the dirt.

"I tried to save you and you take advantage of my kind nature. What kind of pig are you?" she yelled.

Julian stood up and looked around, everything a blur. When he was finally able to gather his senses he noticed the most enchanting creature he has ever laid eyes on screaming at him. She had long blonde hair, that cascaded down her shoulders, wrapped in sea shells and flowers. She wore a flowing long pink dress that clung to every curve of her body. He eyes sparkled like two pools of azure, making his heart beat faster. "Ravishing, my love, you are ravishing" Julian muttered.

Ivy glared back at the man, arching her eyebrow. Just who does he think he was, anyway! Ivy thought.

"I'm so sorry, my precious flower, where am I?" Julian asked, looking confused. Ivy noticed his mental anguish (and the fact that smoke was still billowing from his ears) and went to comfort him. Pilar tossed a questionly glance at Ivy, knowing what a soft hearted fool Ivy could be.

"You are at Woodstock. You had an accident on stage. Don't you remember?" Ivy asked, as she fanned the smoke coming from his ears.

Julian shugged his shoulders and replied back "No, the last thing I remember was being chased by blood lusty aliens that were out to steal my DNA." Julian said fearfully.

Ivy stared at the man in disbelief. He must be one of those drugged out hippies, Ivy thought, as she backed away from him.

"Uhhh, take care of yourself." Ivy said, dragging Pilar with her as she beat a hasty retreat.

"Don't you think we should get a doctor to examine him?" Pilar asked Ivy as they walked quickly away. "I doubt we would be able to find a psychiatrist for him here, Pilar." Ivy said, raising her eyebrow. Pilar giggled.

Julian stood staring back at the enchanting creature he had just encountered. Who was that radiating beauty who has stolen my heart? Julian wondered to himself. I must not let her get away. Julian quickly took off after her.

~~~~~~~~~~

Pilar and Ivy were making there when through the crowd when Ivy felt someone tapping her shoulder. She turned around thinking it was Rebecca and was startled to see the man she had just helped holding out a handful of beautiful white daisies.

"For you, my pet." Julian said smiling, as he placed the daises in her hand.

"Thank you!" Ivy stammered, taken off guard.

Julian kissed his index finger and touched it gently to Ivy's lips. Ivy stared deeply into his eyes, seeing them dance with desire.

Julian reached out and embraced her. Ivy felt herself responding and wrapped her arms tightly around him.

"Come with me......." Julian whispered huskily in her ear.

"MMMMMM, yes...." Ivy responded back, unable to break the hypnotic hold he had on her.

He reached for her hand, preparing to drag her away, where he could ravish her sensuous body for hours on end.

Pilar stepped forward. "Ivy, you can't go away with that man. He's a lunantic."

Ivy laughed and replied back "It just might be a lunatic I'm looking for."

Pilar shook her head. "Dios Mio, this is a diaster!", she said before she fainted.

Julian & Ivy held hands as they walked through the crowd. Julian was beaming as he looked around. He looked down at Ivy and growled, knowing the pleasure she would awaken in him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"CREEP!!!! HEY CREEP!!" Julian turned around, wondering if the person could be calling out to him. When he saw the little kid running up to him, he groaned. "Get lostttt" Julian whispered to himself.

Ivy looked at Julian perplexed. "What's going on?" Ivy asked.

The boy ran up to Julian and blurted out "You big Creep! You stole my mom's flowers!!"

Julian quickly denied. "I assure you I did not."

"Yes, you did. Creep-o! Those are my mom's flowers that I just picked her her." pointing to the flowers in Ivy's hands. Julian took out his wallet, hoping to pay off the little brat.

Ivy handed the flowers back to the little boy and stared at Julian with a look of utter disgust on her face. "You are despictable... how could you steal flowers from a little boy." Ivy said, slapping him across the face.

Julian cheek felt flushed with her stinging slap. "How dare you slap me. You tawdry two-bit flower child!" Julian spat out, rubbing his cheek. Ivy glared at him and turned to leave.

Julian grabbed her arm. "You're not leaving yet, my dear. Not until you have given me the forbidden fruit I desire." he said, licking his lips. He lifted Ivy across his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and started heading down the dirt road.

Ivy was beside herself with anger, as she kicked and screamed "LET ME DOWN, YOU ANIMAL! YOU BEAST!" Julian laughed, feeling smug that he had this lucicious hell-cat under control.

Julian looked around at the hippies milling by....... many were walking around nude or had their bodies painted in various day-glo colors. He looked around for a private spot where he could undress and ravish the fair beauty he had kicking & screaming in his possession.

"Hush, light of my life, people are staring!" Julian whispered above Ivy screams of rage.

"YOU BASTARDDDDDDDDDD, Let me down!" Ivy ranted.

At that exact moment, Tabby spotted Julian carrying a young woman she recognized as very fashionable Ivy Winthrop.

"My, my. Looks like Julian has got himself quite a catch. I wonder if he realizes he has 'The ice Princess of Harmony' in his arms?" Tabby said to Timmy.

Timmy noticed Ivy was struggling to get out of Julian's arms, "Doesn't look like the lady wants to be ten feet near him, Princess."

"Timmy, you gave me a splendid idea. Why, I'll cast a spell on those two snobby blue-bloods to meet again in the near future and be destined to a life of strife together, forever..... hehe"

~~~~~~~~

Hocus pocus, bottle of locus, let those two wed & never share a bed

~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhlie, Julian looked around for a place to set Ivy down. He didn't want her running away from him before he had a chance to woo her with the Hendrix charm.

In the distance, he spotted an outrageous bus painted blue with yellow, purple and red swirling patterns on it. Someone had painted "LOVE" on one side..... it was the ultimate hippie vehicle. The bus beaconed to Julian like a magnet. "COMEEEEEE TO ME" he heard the bus call out. Julian realized at once that his acid soaked mind must be playing tricks on him. Buses don't talk, he rationalized.

He looked closer at the bus and realized it was the perfect place for some action. He set Ivy down by the bus and proclaimed "This is going to be our love bus". He grinned sheepishly at Ivy.

"What are you talking about? You must be crazy." Ivy said, shaking her head.

"You must go with the flow. For you are my cosmic soulmate and we are destined to be together on this bus, it's destiny!" Julian said as he stepped a board the bus.

Ivy arched her eyes and rolled her eyes. "Over my dead body! What a bunch of mumbo-jumbo" Ivy said to herself, rolling her eyes in disbelief. She turned to leave and suddenly stopped in her tracks. She felt as if the bus or perhaps the man was reaching out to her, like a magnetic, compelling her to board the bus. "Lord, help me" she muttered.

The inside of the bus was painted red and lined with mirrors on one side. It had peace signs and rainbows painted on the walls. The windows were covered with tapestry drapes and somebody had put up a poster that said "HAIGHT ASHBURY FOREVER!" The smell of incenses hung heavily in the air, candles burned all around. Julian noticed a waterbed in the back of the bus, "Grooviness!" Julian proclaimed.

Ivy hestiantly climbed on to the bus and noticed Julian was sitting on a waterbed at the back of the bus. He was happily guzzling from a bottle of Zinfandel he had found on the deserted bus. "Join me, sweet-ums?" Julian asked. If there was one thing Ivy needed at this very moment----it was a drink. She rushed over to Julian and grabbed the bottle and drank from it.

Julian looked up at Ivy and said "So, my cosmic soulmate, do you want to trip the light fantastic?"

Ivy laughed at him. "I really don't know what I'm doing on this bus. I turned to leave but was overcome with an overwhelming desire to come abroad the bus and see you."

"It's destiny" Julian said, "the moon is in alignment and our stars are lined up.. or something like that." Julian laughed. He stood up and winked at Ivy, whispering "I think your ravishing and I would love to make you mine, at least for today. You know, free love and all that! Are you game, my pet."

Ivy heart started to pound. She wanted to run off the bus and get far away from this man who seemed to have a magnetic hold over her. However, his soft lips brushed hers, and her legs went weak. She could not resist his charms.

He laid her back on the waterbed and stared deeply into her eyes, dazzled by the beauty and promise they offered. He kissed her cheek lightly and said "Let me taste you", whispering against her soft skin. Her lips parted in response. His lips covered hers, his tongue darting into her mouth, causing a warm ache in her belly. Julian's hand moved to her back and burned into the trembling flesh as he caressed her. His lips then slid down her face to explore her slender neck, his other hand straying to remove her blouse, button by button. She gasped, arching her body, wanting desperately to feel this man inside her. He stripped her of her clothes and looked down at her body, his heart doing flip-flops. She was more beautiful than he imagined. His wet tongue began tracing imaginary circles over her body as she shuddered and cried out. "I want you... I want you now."

"You're beautiful" Julian whispered against her throat. His lips moved to her breasts, nibbling on her taut nipples. He slipped out of his clothes and rolled on top of Ivy. Her firm, large breasts heaved against his chest. Her skin felt like satin to his touch. As his hands caressed her shapely body he thought he could do this forever but her desires had stirred his own passions to the breaking point, he trust himself into her, causing her body to shudder in electrical waves of estasy. Their bodies moving together at a frenzied pace.... Their lovemaking was fiece, hungry, a wild mating that took them to the edge of the universe and back again. Their bodies rocked by an endless swell of unbridled passion and lust.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm" Ivy muttered as she laid on top of Julian, exhausted after their endless lovemaking. Julian had his hands entwined in her blonde hair, both of them basking in the afterglow.

Julian rolled back on top of Ivy, preparing to ravish her body again when they were interupted by someone coming on to the bus. Julian jumped up. "Who goes there?" Julian asked tensely.

A young hippie girl walked forward, "I'm Mandy Moonbeam! What are you two doing on my groovy bus?"

Ivy scrambled to put back on her clothes, embarrassed to be caught in a compromising position.

Julian didn't seem bothered by it all, he beamed at Mandy. "Me and my little lady here were using your bus to Get It On." Julian said proudly.

Mandy laughed, "Groovy, man. My bus attracts all kinds. What is your name?"

"I'm Julian Hendrix and this is my cosmic soulmate." Julian said, pointing to Ivy who was hiding her face behind the tapestry drapes, mortified.

Mandy, being a peace lovin' hippie and realizing what groovy Karma they had, offered to take Julian & Ivy with her as she prepared to leave Woodstock for her next stop, The Grand Canyon. Julian & Ivy both declined her kind offer and wished her luck. They stepped off the bus and headed back towards the concert. Julian holding Ivy's hand tenderly in his.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You are amazing my little sex vixen" Julian muttered to Ivy as they walked down the dirt road.

"So were you, honey bear!" Ivy whispered back to him.

"I'm glad you realize that, my dear. I am, after all, superior to 99.9% of the hippies on earth." Julian proclaimed proudly.

Julian noticed a trail leading to some bushes, and pulled Ivy along side of them. "Mmmmmmmmm, my little sex kitten, let Little Julian show you what grooviness is all about." he muttered, as he kissed her tender lips.

He pulled her down into the bushes, his ardent passion rising to the surface. He quickly undressed Ivy, his body meshing with hers. They both savored the ectasy that coursed through their body as they rolled around in the dirt....... their desire overtaking them as they were rolling, rolling.......

rolling..........
rolling.........................
rolling down the hillside. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, we're gonna DIEEEEEEEE" Ivy screamed out, as they both tumbled down the hillside, landing on the embankment of a river.

"OUCH!" Ivy said, "my back hurts. My knees are scaped up. My head hurts! You blundering IDIOT, look what you did to us...." Ivy mused on and on.

Julian stood up, "Will you please shut your mouth, my darling, this is not my fault!!" Julian said pouting. "I need my Brandy!"

"Brandy? Who is Brandy? A girl friend you have back home? You bastard!!!!!!!!" Ivy ranted, "You low-life dog! How could you use me in such a way!!" Ivy furiously said.

Julian laughed at Ivy jealous display of emotion. "There there, my pet, Brandy is my booze of choice, not some vixen I have hidden away." Julian smirked at Ivy.

"Booze? Oh, boy do I feel like a fool." Ivy said, with a quick smile on her face. "Forgive me for accusing you of being a low-down dirty dog, darling?" Ivy asked brightly, pulling a twig out of Julian's hair.

Julian winked at Ivy, "You're forgiven, precious one. Hey, how about going for a swim, my love?" Julian asked Ivy, dragging her towards the river.

"No, I don't want to go swimming Julian. Besides the river looks dirty. My head still hurts and I have to find my friends." Ivy said, realizing that the sun was going down.

"Oh come on, light of my life, you need to cool off that hot little temper of yours." Julian said, pushing Ivy into the river.

"BRRRRRRRRRRRRR! It's freeezzzzzing" Ivy said, her teeth chattering, when she surfaced. "You brute!" she said, glaring at Julian for throwing her into the rushing, ice-cold river.

"I'll warm you, my love!" Julian said, plunging into the water. "MOOOOOOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" Julian screamed out as the cold water engulfed him.

"My hero..... the wimp!" Ivy yelled out, rolling her eyes at Julian.

Julian swam over to Ivy, hoping to dunk her underwater. He was getting a little tired of her rumblings.

He went to put Ivy in a headlock........ but was quickly distracted by her naked body, shimmering under the surface of the water.

Julian caught Ivy in his embrace and wrapped his arms around her slender body. He bent down and started sucking the hollow parts of her neck, leaving red hickey marks of love on her silky skin. Ivy slid her fingers through Julian's wet hair, moaning as

Julian lips worked their magic on her body. "Have you ever made love in water, my pet?" Julian whispered as her nibbled on her earlobe. "Mmmmm...... no....... Oh Julian, you feel so good." Ivy moaned, wrapping her legs around his hips, arching her back. Julian felt his pulse quicken. He came into her, moaning her name over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~

Julian & Ivy emerged from the river, as the sun was going down. "Where's our clothes, darling?" Ivy asked, perplexed.

"Hmmmm, I think we left up on top of the embankment. Remember when we came skidding down the hillside?" Julian said, rubbing his sore hiney. "Lets go, my love."

Ivy arched her eyebrow at Julian and muttered, "I am not walking around without my clothes Julian. I want you to climb the hillside and throw down my clothes. After all you are the one who got us into this mess!" Ivy said.

Julian glared at Ivy, wishing for the millionth time for his beloved Brandy. "Yes, dear!" Julian said, irritated.

Julian reached the top of the hillside, nearly killing himself when he lost his balance and tumbled into a strange looking bush.

Julian found their clothes and tossed Ivy's clothes down the hillside.

Ivy yelled for him "Come and help me back up, Julian!!!" He stared down at her and sighed. "I can't be bothered with that right now," Julian thought, "I need a Drink!" He waved down to Ivy and said "Tata, darling."

He heard a piercing scream rise up from the hillside. "OOOOPS, got the little lady mad." Julian laughed. "Oh what the hell. Brandy is my only true friend anyway!!" Julian proclaimed.

Julian started to get dressed and was surprised when Ivy's friend Pilar came running up to him. "Excuse me, I'm trying to get dressed, Miss." Julian said as he went to put on his boxers that had little bottles of Zinfandel plastered on them.

Pilar seemed to be froathing at the mouth, she was so upset. "Where is Ms. Ivy? What have you done to her? Dios Mio, this is a disaster!" Pilar screamed out.

Julian glared at Pilar, trying to get his leg into his boxers. "I left her down by the riverside!" Julian said. Pilar rushed forward, grabbing Julian by the ear, "What do you mean? You left her all alone by the river? Dios Mio! What if she was kidnapped by a band of roaming hippies!"

Julian tried to break the strangle hold Pilar had on his ear. "OUCHHHHHH!" Julian muttered "Leave me alone, you local fruit cake!"

Pilar punched Julian in the gut "Take this, you terrible, terrible man!"

Julian was frightened of the woman. He took off running, with Pilar close behind. He quickly realized he was buck naked and *lil' Julian* was dangling in the breeze. A hippie, meditating by a tree, looked up as Julian ran by....... "Like a true nature's child. That man was born, born to be wild." the hippie proclaimed as Julian hightailed it past him, being chased by a woman swinging a tree branch. "Whhhhhoaaaaaa, this festival is too much, man." the hippie said.

Julian saw a big Oak tree and bushes surrounding it, he dove for cover. Pilar ran right past him. "I"m safe!" Julian screamed out, relieved. Although suddenly his hiney was very itching. "What in the world?" Julian muttered, his hiney suddenly feeling like it was on fire. "You sat in a poison oak bush, man!" A young hippie told him. Julian started blubbering like a baby.

Julian started back towards the limo, wanting to get himself far away from these bizarre hippies who tried to kill him with pot and acid. He wondered if he could sue the entire nation of hippies for "endangering the life of a Crane!!"

Up ahead Julian got a glimpse of the lovely Ivy being picked up by the hippie bus they had made love in earlier. "Hmmm, she must have decided to go to the Grand Canyon after all. I'll never get a chance to see her again." Julian thought glumly, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Tabby sat smirking in the bushes, "Oh Julian, you will meet up with the Icy Ivy again in the future. You can count on it, it's destiny.........."

~ the end ~